Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
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The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
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God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
so much tequila, so little girl.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.