There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
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My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
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I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?