I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.