By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.