I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
