'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
