We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
