Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
