therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
