oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
