***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
