My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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