you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize