His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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