I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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