i barfeds in our rink
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
