Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
This is the high leading the old right now
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
