hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
