It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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