just come out here and I will go home with you...
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
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There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
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Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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