she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
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