Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
