Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
