We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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