oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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