you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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