I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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