so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
