omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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