I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize