Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
