This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just high enough for therapy.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Randomize