I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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