What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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