The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
