Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
