how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
