I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize