There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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