im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
