I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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