I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
