So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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