Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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