Bisexual people are plain selfish.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I need water and some morals
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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