Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Randomize
