in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
