Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
