i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize