i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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