two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
