i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
