I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
how drunk are you?
Several
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
