I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
