we have officially lost it.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
