I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
NoShamevember. You game?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
