Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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