just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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