Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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