Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
