My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
