Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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